*Hears noises at night*: Well this is it, this is the end for me. I had a good life.
*Gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now. How am I going to go on? Holy shit!
*Heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack. Is this what cardiac arrest is?
*A cop walks by*: Here I go, about to get arrested. I probably murdered someone. I'm sure they know about when I smoked that one time.
*Taking a test*: Don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school.
*Gets a sunburn*: Skin cancer.
My mom is yelling at my brother and I overheard this.
Mom: GO TO YOUR ROOM
Brother: that's not fair
Mom: DO AS I SAY.
Brother: You never send Lizzie to her room when she's in trouble!!
Mom: Lizzie never leaves her room. If she were in trouble I'd make her sit in the living room or go outside or talk to human beings.
Me: I CAN HEAR YOU.
